Why I’m taking a break from “What’s Next”

May 16, 2016 Faux Runner Comments 6 comments

After every big goal race, there’s the lingering question of “What’s Next?”. There is either the excitement generated by a great race that fuels your fire of wanting to go back for more, or the disappointment of a not so good race that pushes you to seek revenge/redemption.

I started training with coach back in July 2014 for the Dopey Challenge as precursor to Augusta 70.3. Those 18 months were structured and intense. Even after I split up with coach, I continued on a similar plan for the training to London Marathon; which I never even expected to run, having had applied and being rejected for the past 4 years.

It’s been a long and intense 2 years and frankly, I’m exhausted.

But the physical and mental exhaustion is easily repaired in a few weeks or a month. And I could be on the path to a fall marathon like originally planned, but this time, I’m not. I’m taking a break. A break from marathons and even triathlons.

I need to give out a little TLC

For the past 2 years, my weekends have been a mess of scheduling and juggling. Of early wakeups and a mess of being tired most of the time. I’ve gone out running or biking (or swimming) instead of teaching the minions to bike or swim. I’ve been pursuing one goal after another while I’ve had no time to take them out for races that they’ve been asking to do. They need a bit of TLC and focus right now without me going off for 3+ hours to run/ride.

We joke about how our homes are trashed in training season, and it is no joke. Wth the new client timings and the minions needing more attention and the early hours of training, I was never able to do anything beyond basic clean up the living area kind of stuff.

I NEED to focus on making my house the pretty home it used to be 2 years ago …

My Real Life is a bit crazy(crazier) right now

I’m a firm believer of things happening in life when they are supposed to happen and that they all contribute to personal growth, no matter how hard or easy. This gig that I started just after Augusta 70.3 (to pay my way through to London!) is all around intense with zero flexibility. All my training was done at 5:00am and I’ve been constantly on the go-go-go.

It’s not a huge issue usually but a big thing to solve when Mr. FauxTriathlete is traveling for his work.

And I need to pull that crazy together before I can throw myself into anything deeper.

I’m looking for that Fire

The only thing that can motivate me is my internal fire. The thing that gets me all excited and passionate. And right now, I have a tiny like spark. An ember really, rather than that raging fire I usually have within me.

What is the fuel that is going to nurture that spark? I don’t know yet. And I want to explore.

I’ve been thinking and soul searching for the past 3 weeks, but haven’t come up with any direction. Maybe I’m always racing for the next venture that my spirit is a little tired and wants to be free and explore.

I don’t have a Game Plan

Being very goal oriented, I’ve always had a goal to work to. And I’ve always planned. This time – even though I have a distant goal, I have no game plan.

Yes, I would love to have a coach to work on a long term goal. But I am hesitant to spend the $150-250/mo. That would be spending away the minions’ college savings chasing a midlife crisis !

Until I figure out a long term game plan, I’m taking a break from longer events.

No, I’m not giving up

I mentioned this state of mind to Carrie a couple of weeks back, and she asked me “So that’s it? You’re throwing in the towel? Giving up?”

No. There is no quit when you dream of something.

Just falling back for a bit to pull together my troops. I’m just taking a much needed mental and body reboot.

Until I get that all figured out, I’m doing bits and pieces of all, training for fun, enjoying different types of workouts, running with my minions, getting the 10yo prepped for her first triathlon (hopefully she doesn’t injure herself like she’s done in the past 2 summers!), teaching the 7yo to bike, strength train. And think about a gameplan for that elusive goal. Running and triathlon is a way of life now, and a break from training will not deter me from it.