Goodbye, Dear Shannon

January 29, 2018 Faux Runner Comments 15 comments

[This is not my usual fitness post, but something that I wanted to write for a friend.]

You did not go gentle into that good night,
You burnt and raved at close of day;
You raged, and raged against the dying of the light.

And yet, here you are, saying goodbye to your little boys, having raged the war and lost. Your life started and will end as the universe deems but your soul will live on.

Did you get to hug your boys one last time?
Did you get to kiss your mom one last time?
Did you get to go through your bucket list? Did you get to do what you had wanted to do?

Facing this is hard for you, and harder for family around you. I’m not pretending to have known you better than your other friends. Yet here I am from far, loving on you, trying to not be afraid. Because you were one of us. You WERE all of us. Moms, wives, employees, going about their everyday life when adversity hit.

It’s made me face frail mortality and the unfairness and uncertainty of life.

And ask some not so pleasant questions of myself.

Have I been the person I wanted to be when I was 5?
What happens in the after? Is it afterlife? Does the soul move on to another body?
Will you know the moment that your soul leaves your body?

I tried to be calm, but I am scared.
I tried to think of the past fondly, but I am bitter.
I tried to send you vibes of peace but I am turbulent.
(All these *I* at the time of your need)

So I did the only thing I know.

I ran.

This run was for you, Shannon.

It was mysteriously misty at one of my favorite places – Kennesaw Mountain trails! And I imagined you drifting from one life into another just so. You were in that mist laughing at your boys, soaking your feet in the warm mist of a tropical resort as you often did.

A post shared by FauxRunner (@fauxrunner) on Jan 28, 2018 at 8:38am PST

Goodbye, dear Shannon. Goodbye.
When it is time for you to go, go gentle into that good night.

[Our friend Shannon, mommy to two boys the same age as my girls, is at the end of her life, with cancer taking over her body and we are told that we can only wish for a peaceful passing now.]